On August 10, I was excitedly preparing for Janelle's baby shower that we'd have at my house. Sara & crew showed up, followed by a very PREGGO Janelle. Mom & Jessica had dropped by the night before and would be there as soon as Mom had her salad done. The phone rang and Mom was on the other line. She told me Steve had been in a serious 4-wheeler accident and started crying. She gave a few more details amidst her tears and I asked her a few questions. Janelle & Sara could tell by the questions I was asking that this was pretty serious.
We decided to go be with Jessica for a 1/2 hour before she left to go to Ely or Las Vegas (they didn't know which hospital Steve would be in). We laughed about Steve ruining our baby shower and that he'd have to watch all the kids sometime to make up for it. I remember telling her it was going to be okay. I felt she needed to hear that.
Jessica & Dad flew down to Vegas. In the beginning, I felt that this was "just another Steve accident" and he'd bounce out of it like normal, with a few less brain cells....he had wrecked a 4-wheeler on the ranch the first year they were married and was fine. I figured the same would be true here.
But after Decca & Dad got to Vegas, the next day Mom went down, the more I heard, the worse it got. It was a long time waiting. I felt so bad that I couldn't be there to support Decca or the Pickerings, but at the same time, I didn't want to be under foot. I was grateful to feel useful by updating friends and family via Facebook or phone. I was grateful for Evan and Janelle that I could talk to and vent and worry with. I had other friends that would just let me speak my mind without judging, so that I could be "strong" when I talked to Mom, Decca or Dad.
We just waited. Things were changing, but never so we could get answers. They did say the brain injury was very severe and that Steve would not be the same. I began thinking about Decca and the long road she had ahead. I just figured I knew best and that it would be easier to let him pass on than for Decca to have a life with an invalid husband. I prayed that he would be able to go, especially if the brain injury was as severe as they were guessing. I prayed for a miracle, even if that miracle was death.
But at midnight on the 22nd, when Evan got the phone call from Dad that Steve actually had passed away, my heart just broke for Decca. I wondered if I had been praying for the wrong thing. Again, I bawled and vented to Evan. I cried to Janelle.
We got to Enterprise and were well taken care of by the Humphries. I love that we have friends down there that are like family; we can turn to them anytime and they open their doors to us.
The viewing was the first time I had seen Jessica. I "butted" in line and we just held each other and sobbed for a minute. Steve did not look the same. But in some ways, it was easier to let go of that broken body than it would have been if he had looked like the young, healthy Steve he was.
Mom & Dad looked worn and tired. The previous weeks had taken their toll. I couldn't believe the love and support that our family had from friends that travelled very far to be with us. It meant so much.
The funeral was an overcast day with a soft rain throughout the day...a perfect funeral day. Again, so much love and support. There was a seat by Mom because Dad went up to speak. Evan whispered, "Go ahead and sit by them" and so I sat by Mom & Decca. I loved being there. I felt like I represented Janelle and Janeen who couldn't be there with her.
The funeral was "perfect" for Steve. There was laughter and tears as stories of Steve were told. There was beautiful music. Dad and Bishop Moyle both did a fabulous job. There was a strong spirit there.
The graveside was beautiful as well. Steve is buried in a family cemetery and it is on a hill, just above his parent's home...I think he would love it.
Hyrum and Trace....not cousins, but they share the same cool uncle.
Decca was still our sweet, cheerful Decca, even during sad times. She's putting her faith in the Lord through this and trusting that He has a purpose and plan for hers and her baby girl's life without Steve here.
Later that evening, we went back to the cemetery. The kids were playing around the headstones (I think that is just what kids do in cemeteries). This is me, Decca & JC....we missed Janelle & Janeen, but know they would have been there if they could have.
It's been over a month now and sometimes, it feels like it is just a nightmare and we'll wake up and Steve will come in with his goofy grin and try to get us to go do something more exciting. Or he'll come in and hug all his nephew and nieces. But it really has happened.
Steve and I butted heads...just personality differences. I'm the "mother hen" and he was trying to prove himself as a young newly wed. He always thought I was too nosy or too bossy or too involved and I thought he was too much of a male chauvinist! He wanted a boy and I thought it would be good for him to get a girl (*Steve, I won that one!). But despite all that, he was always kind to me and LOVED our kids. He was a super uncle.
I think when I die, I'll go give him a big hug and then thump him on the back of the head and say, "You dork! What did you do that for?" :) I do know that we'll see him again and he will be "100%"....something the doctors didn't Steve would ever be if he had survived the accident.
Love you Steve. Watch over us!
(Favorite Uncle Steve with Lindsay at JC's bday party, one year ago)
