By our little Branch church house is a cemetery that holds the precious, tiny body of our firstborn. Today Evan and I took Hyrum and Riley and sang "Happy Birthday" at Jeb's grave. I didn't cry but feelings were close to the surface.
I miss my little boy and often wonder what he would be doing. My cousin, Terra has a boy 2 days older; my old roommate, Janae has a little boy that was born on the exact same day; and my little neighbor, Austin who I've been doing preschool with is one month younger. I love to see how these boys have grown and what they are doing.
Time has certainly eased the pain but it hasn't erased the memory. I don't think a mother can ever forget. I used to tell everyone we met about our firstborn; partially because it was such a big part of our life and partially because for me it helped to ease the pain by sharing with others. But now I rarely tell people we meet because it is so special and sacred to me.
I appreciate all of you that have supported us, especially in that first year after we had lost Jeb. But at this Christmas time, I remember so much how he isn't lost to us and because of Jesus Christ he is ours forever, if we do our part. I had a good conversation with a friend of mine last Sunday about the afterlife. I don't know what Jeb is doing now but he really is so close to me even though he seems so far away.
(These pictures were taken Memorial Day weekend this year right after Riley was born. Mom took Hyrum to church and brought flowers to Jeb's grave. I don't know how much Hyrum understands but I love the second picture. Little children are so much closer to heaven...)
Happy Birthday little Jeb. I love you.
Thought I had found the tree...but then I decided it wasn't it.
After we went up the mountain and came back down, I decided it was. It was dark and took Ev 3 seconds to get it down.
When we got home, Ev told me it wasn't in the truck. I didn't believe him. There was NOTHING in the truck bed. Ev and Hy went and found it on the road.
