I was THIS close to finding out if I could ever get hired as a teacher this week.
I finished my last year of student-teaching really believing that I would never teach because Evan and I both had the same goal of me being a stay-at-home mom. Basically, I put myself into my classes half-heartedly.
The passed few months and the instability of the economy put my views in perspective. We have been considering a move for our family and part of that move might require me to work outside of the home.
I've have come somewhat close to applying for a teaching job about 3 times in the 8 years we have been married. But anytime I started filling out applications and inquiring about a teaching position, I would get sick in my stomach and know that it wasn't right for me.
This time, I felt justified in leaving my children with another person. I've almost felt like I would do more good outside the home because I'm not the best "stay-at-home" mom AT ALL. One of my good friends grows a garden like you wouldn't believe and could live off of it; another friend does scrapbooking stuff online as a business from her home; others photography; others play with their kids all day or homeschool them; then there's me: you had better let me watch my Biggest Loser show or I will throw you out of the house!!!!!
Anyway, the application was actually finished and sent in. I was nervously anticipating a call from the principal and really nervous whether I would even make an interview! Then Evan came home from work and said he felt that the move wasn't right for us right now and that I'd probably put an end to my application process so it didn't get too far.
WHAT?
I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, be relieved or be torqued off (I was all of the above). After a lot of thought and prayer, I've felt good that I don't have to teach right away. We still don't know what we are going to do. But we're here for now and might as well enjoy it.
But I'll always wonder if I really could get hired as a teacher...
*PS--Any of you out there who do work outside of the home...you are amazing and a hero in my book.
4 comments:
All I could think as I was reading this post is, that is exactly how I feel about my mothering skills. I often tell myself that if I was to have had to apply for this job, I would not have been given it and if I had I would be promptly fired. But that is not what I see in you. You are always so happy and you give those kids so much love. We are the hardest on ourselves.
Um, I think you put all the other stay-at-home moms to shame. You're already at the place most moms strive for. Hope everything goes well for you guys.
What is it about being a mom that makes us feel that everyone is a better mom than we are? Your kids are so blessed to have you at home with them. Of course there are days when it would be more "fun" to be at daycare, playing games and making crafts all day. But they would also be missing their momma. AND, I think you'd make an awesome teacher. I'd send you my school-age kids in a heartbeat! Oh, and funny how the Spirit speaks to us in our stomach. Perhaps that's the only body part I listen to :)
You're an amazing person and friend so I feel confident in saying you're an AMAZING mom and you'd be a FANTASTIC teacher! Best of luck with whatever life brings you
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